My Mom...

Today I saw my Mother cry which I have only seen a handful of times in my life.
I looked her in the eyes and realized that my hands will never be big enough to catch all of the pain I want to heal. And then it hit me like a big train, the very people she was constantly trying to save were the ones stepping on her cape. I can't fix her pain no matter how bad I want to, so instead I told her we would buy her rain boots and if she'd let it the rain would wash it all away.
I told her that some part of her has always allowed her to keep moving forward, to choose to breakthrough.
At a young age she was taught to stand up for herself, that when life knocks her down she needs to get back up. That when the wind is knocked out of her it is a reminder of how much her lungs love the air.
She grew up believing that she will never good enough. To the this day she has yet to see the beauty within herself. While all along she has been raising two kids whose definition of beauty begins with her.
By the end of our conversation I was in awe looking at the woman who raised me.
Women like my mom are rare, her eyes never quit shining, she never quits giving, and she never stops loving.
So next time I am asked what I want to be when I grow up my reply will always be like my mother.

THERE IS NO TIME LIKE THE NOW...

I have wasted so many moments in my life,
simply because I believed there would be a thousand more.
I wait for the "perfect" moment way to often in my life.
The truth is that there is no other moment than right now.
These past few weeks I have spent my time watching
the distance that has grown between myself and the rest of humanity.
This is nothing new for me to choose to withdraw.
I've been waiting for the perfect moment to live my life.
Looking back now I get what I have missed out on.
I am either living in the future or trying to forget the past.
I used to say "I wish time was on my side" at least twice a day.
The truth is that time is and always has been on my side.
I am the one that decides how to spend it.
Today I choose to live in the now.
To absolutely be present from moment to moment.
Because if not now then when.

LOVE...

I don't know what it is but I am absolutely terrified and fascinated with the love all at the same time.

Love of course is always a choice. 

And I do love, I love my friends, my family, and just about everything in my life.

But to be honest I want to fall in love with someone romantically.

Which I think perhaps I have been in love once, but that was years ago.

Since then I have cared for others, but not in the same way.

I think the problem is that I compare old love to new beginnings.

I want it to be like before, easy and passionate.

I have been holding my relationships at an unrealistic standard.

It's about time I let go and open up to all possibilities.

Because I know that love is out there for me.

I don't have to force it, I don't have to push it away.

I just trust myself and the universe.